scribbles

bumble for basketball

let's give this app a little more than a minute

2 mins
life togetherneurodivergencesocialising
inquiryafter helloan exploration into community in all its forms
  1. what comes after hello
  2. bumble for basketball
  3. still exploring…

I’ve been contemplating trying out Bumble For Friends (BFF) for a minute. Actually, I already tried it for about a minute and then fled. I am really not one for online dating or friendships. I don’t like texting, especially with people I don’t know well. But one of my cousins got himself a strong circle of friends out of it, so maybe I was too quick to delete.

When driving home the other day, I was listening to a book about friendship. The author was talking about different levels of friendship: strangers, acquaintances, confidants etc. But one in particular stuck out to me: activity buddies.

I was struck by the thought that I don’t have to go online to seek out my next lifelong bestie, the yin to my yang, the 6 to my 7, the plantain to my jollof. That is a lot to put on a little app. But I can go in with a focused purpose: to find an activity buddy.

When it comes to socialising, there are two core truths about myself:

  1. Sport is a great social lubricant. It has always been the way I’ve found it easiest to engage with people. It’s low stakes, and the focus isn’t on the self.
  2. My social sweet spot is in groups of 2-5 people.

Joining a social club is risky, because those groups tend to be bigger and I will undoubtedly shy away from the crowd. So why not seek out a friend with the intention of playing sport or doing a regular activity together? A padel pal, a basketball buddy, a games gal.

Low stakes, a common interest to draw you together. If it blossoms into something more, great. If not, no harm, no foul.

Now is probably the best time to do it. I am known to hibernate in the winter. Seeking out friendship around a shared activity also serves to get me out of the house.

Okay, I think I’ve sold the idea to myself. Bumble for basketball friends, take two. This time, I’ll try it for more than a minute and see what comes of it.

I’m gunna publish this scribble so I can’t brush away this thought when I inevitably want to back out a minute after setting up the app on my phone.