a journey to where?

One of the most frustrating parts of adulthood is lacking a clear sense of understanding of what you are meant to be doing at any given moment.

Well not any given moment. You have a 9-5 that keeps you occupied for a third of the day, you are asleep for another 1/3 and once you cross out the time you spend eating, drinking, cleaning, excreting etc. you aren’t actually left with that much time… Except at the weekends, then there is an abundance. But I digress.

My fundamental issue is lacking a sense of direction, something to aim towards.

As a child I was taught to strive for excellence. Which immigrant child wasn’t. To get top grades, so you could go to a top uni and get a well paid job. But then what? Where is the road map for what comes next?

I’ve still got about 60 odd years to kill between now and death. What am I meant to do with all this time I have? Well, not all this time. As mentioned earlier, a significant proportion of it is dedicated to working, sleeping and excreting. But, in the moments in between, what is expected of me? What am I meant to be doing, if anything?

At some point I concluded that success in this season of life looks like positive progression. To never be stagnant but perpetually moving towards a goal. But what’s the goal my guy? What are we actually aiming for?

Sure, people say it’s about the journey and not the destination, but one can only embark on a journey if they set on a course to go somewhere. Where is that somewhere I am meant to be going?

On somedays I feel like I know. But more often than not, I get distracted and lose my sense of direction. I spin in circles and land right back where I started.